Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty?
Kif might! Hello, little man. I will destroy you! You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites? Moving along… You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? Guess again.
Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.
I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! When will that be? Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.
Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very…
File not found.
It must be wonderful.
OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid.
Your best is an idiot! Is the Space Pope reptilian!? And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. Can we have Bender Burgers again?
I’m Santa Claus!
No, just a regular mistake.
Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.
Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food.
You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites? Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg ‘fixes’ it… then perhaps gifts! This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!
You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! You don’t know how to do any of those. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Bender?! You stole the atom.
Shinier than yours, meatbag. Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like!
I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be…
Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. Bender, we’re trying our best. As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.
Really?! It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Who are you, my warranty?! Really?!
Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! You don’t know how to do any of those. Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! I don’t want to be rescued.
Why would I want to know that? Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. Take me to your leader!
You don’t know how to do any of those. Actually, that’s still true. Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school!
What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food. Now that the, uh, garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?